When someone asks you the above question, what would be your response?
A few days back an old friend got in touch after reading my quote on retrospection.
It’s been 12+ years since we have met or spoken at a deep level. We had been classmates and she and I shared different groups of close friends. Here she was reaching out to me for help.
She said, “If u remember…can you jot down what u felt were my plus and minuses and share it with me”.
As I started wondering what prompted her to reach out to me, a temptation ran in mind. Now that she has given me the right to judge her, I have every right to tell her what I felt about her more than 12 years ago. However, I questioned myself, why did she choose to reach out to me? Could it be she was in a vulnerable state of her mind? Did she require help? Could it be she felt connected to me because of the quote? Could she thought it was safe to reach out? Yes and No. Only she can answer these questions. I would like to believe she felt connected, hence she reached out.
While I wanted to give in to the temptation of judging her my conscience stopped me. Afterall, who am I to tell her what she is good at or not. Who am I to judge her on whatever little I knew about her. I told her that I am not the right person to give her opinion about her ownself. She needs to look inside her and find this out for herself.
Eventually, either being judgmental or completely shutting her off, I quickly created a system through which she can find out her constant and variable pluses and minuses! If used properly, definite outcome is inevitable. It will help her see the patterns of her character that we generally tend to miss otherwise. The best part I realized is this system can help anyone who wants analyze their own strength and weakness. After all why should you depend on someone else to find out about yourself! It is a liberating feeling when you unravel yourself, that too any external biases and purely based on your inner strength.
Do you have a system for finding out your strengths and weaknesses? Do you use them regularly? Would you like to know what is this system?
Do let me know your thoughts through the comments section below.